At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
