you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
