he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
