Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
