So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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