Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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