Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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