i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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