His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
