Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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