so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
