I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
