Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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