This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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