I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
