my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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