i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
