I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
