you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
