when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
