i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
