I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
