I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
