k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
