please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
