oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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