I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
