There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize