Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
