I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
