he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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