There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
