I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
