and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just blew my weed a kiss
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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