we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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