I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
