Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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