Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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