i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I still have a little drunk in my system
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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