last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
