I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
