Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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