fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
