The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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