do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
