its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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