Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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