turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
