Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
