She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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