I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize