the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
