I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
