I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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