so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
