he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
