If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
tell me about the eggs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
