My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
