i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
